BEHIND THE SCENES AT THE SMUT FACTORY

MONA: just for that I won't tell you what I thought of the hip action.
ECHO: I KNOW what you think of the hip action. I put the hip action in there just for YOU
MONA: O_O reallyyy? aaaaawwwww
ECHO: well sure. thats what gurus do
MONA: and what about all that oral action?
ECHO: well that was kind of for everybody
MONA: oh
MONA: well
MONA: FINDERS KEEPERS!

ECHO: its slashy
MONA: *puts down luggage* I'll be here for awhile. BONO! Hold my calls.
BONO: But yer holding my-

Well I figured once you'd walked in on Edge naked, holding a copy of "A Brief History of the Universe," trying to rape Bono, Esperanto was no longer necessary. ~Echo

MONA: there's something strangely endearing about how hard Bono tries
ECHO: indeed. thats why i write it that way
READERS: Awwwwwwwww Bono's practically raping Edge in every scene, how adorable...

ECHO: OOOO are you familiar with the Match Game? that would make a GREAT script
MONA: em......no.....
ECHO: well what happens is, you have two contestants and six celebrity panelists
MONA: OOO
MONA: oh wait never mind I read "panelists" horribly wrong

ECHO: assuming youre still planning on finishing the story
MONA: I.............. eventually
ECHO: MONA: *on deathbed* ....And then....they all orgasmed, the end...*dies*

FROM A SCRIPT: *Ali leans over Bono and pops Edge one but good. Edge and Ali fight viciously for twelve minutes before it occurs to anyone to intervene.*
ECHO: i would kill a man to see this happen. seriously. show me the man and I will murder him in cold blood. unless its Bruce Springsteen.

MONA: maybe I could write the mushy parts and you can write the good stuff
ECHO: I dont write hetero. Sorry
MONA: curses! *is cast out into the cold dark world of hetero*
ECHO: now...if you wanted to throw Edge into the equation...
MONA: o_O NO EDGE STAYS OUTSIDE
EDGE: *scratches at door*
ECHO: LMAO Awwwwwwwww
MONA: well it's ok bc we locked you out too.
ECHO: O_O
MONA: o_O Go get 'im
EDGE: *knock* helloooo? Bonoooo? Allliiii?
ECHO: hey edge? arent you cold? lemme keep you warm
EDGE: It's JULY.

MONA: OMD FISHY JUST FISH-EYED ME
ECHO: o_O
MONA: YES that's the fish eye. I asked her about the wimmens parts I'm like HOW DO YOU WRITE THEM and she goes YOU DON'T. NEVER.

ECHO: that thing about Bono going to Ali's house after his mother died... I don't know if you care...
MONA: did they not know each other then? LOL WATCH AS I CHANGE HISTORY

ECHO: ...and I fear that if you introduce the other woman it would turn into a Mary Sue story
MONA: you'll have to explain who this Mary Sue is and WHAT she is doing in Bono's pants in the first place.
ECHO: *sigh* a Mary Sue is a character in the story which is a thinly veiled version of the author
MONA: YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO GET INTO BONO'S PANTS?
MONA: o wait.
MONA: continue
ECHO: oh LOOK! says the author. Here's this GIRL and she is FUNNY and INTELLIGENT
and STRIKINGLY BEAUTIFUL and Bono just HAPPENS to be having sex AND falling in
LOVE with her
ECHO: so to answer your question, yes
ECHO: this is all about Bono's pants and your desire to ignore the "No Trespassing" sign Ali has hung there

MONA: ok maybe I will just send this to you. I'M SO NERVOUS
ECHO: my dear, you're WRITING about sex, you're not HAVING it

ECHO: Hey if we're gonna do a "Real World" type thing with us and Boner and Wedgie, we should actually have stupid stuff like what happens on the Real World. For example, I saw this one bit where, apparently this guy has a crush on this girl who's a lesbian, and she hates him but she like, got in the shower with him anyway for NO REASON. i was like "YOU PEOPLE ARE STOOOOPID WHATS WRONG WITH YOU!" You don't get in the shower with some guy who likes you even though youre a lesbian!
MONA: I'm losing my vision slowly but I see "Shower" in that story, so I'll agree to whatever it is you're asking.
ECHO: THE POINT IM TRYING TO MAKE IS we need to have a shower scene.
MONA: *drops bar of soap* WHERE do I SIGN?!
ECHO: and I nominate you to write it
MONA: SCORE okay now who should be in the shower
ECHO: *gets out telescope* I think I can...yes....I can see the "hot" and "wet" jokes from here. I wonder if we could involve ScottPhisto in this somehow. 'Cause I mean if there were FIVE people everyone would understand if there was no plot

MONA: Ok so Bono is pursuing Edge....should Edge be aware of this and resist? Or should he be completely oblivious and therefore unconsciously compliant with Bono?
ECHO: Hmm...
MONA: I never thought I'd use so many big words to ask a question about porn.
ECHO: Well, I'm all about "unconsciously complaint" but you cant leave out the possibility that Edge feels the same way but is shy
MONA: TRRUEEE.
ECHO: I think "unconsciously complaint" is the most potentially hilarious though. Woo hoo *potentially hilarious porn*

"Well, thats it for my career.....its all downhill after Pac-Man singing the El Camino song." -Echo

"Oh my God I made Bono rape an egg roll...." - Mona

MONA: ok what rhymes with 'promise'
ECHO: "vomits"
MONA: O_O No!!
ECHO: you ASKED

MONA: quick I need two lines
ECHO: ___________
ECHO: ___________________
ECHO: there you go

ECHO: more new fooksburgh episodes are up
MONA: !!!!! OMG YAY
EDGE: You are a MACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE
ECHO: you got that right baybee
MOBY: I like to work with machines.

WRITING A SCENE WHERE BONO TEASES EDGE AT A RESTAURANT BY EATING HIS DESSERT EROTICALLY [DONT ASK]
MONA: Waitaminute. They don't have funnel cake at IHOP
ECHO: WHO CARES. Bono and edge probably aren't getting their freak on every night either, that's not stopping us
MONA: LIES! ALL LIES! ok
ECHO: well notice I said not EVERY night
MONA: well yeah......they need a break sometimes
BONO: Sorry, another late night at the office
ALI: You don't WORK at an office
BONO: uh oh

"Keep in mind its only my first run-through...there's always room for improvement. Except in Bono's pants, where there's no room for ANYTHING." ~Echo

"Anyway I was thinking you and I could write the smut to end all smut. I mean that figuratively of course...I wouldn't want to end all smut." ~Echo